Good evening friends,
My name is Judy Roberts. I am a member of the FINEST GENERATION (NOT a millenial!)
First and foremost I am the mother of 5 darling children.- Rannie Bob Jr is the eldest at 25 1/2 years old. Judy Roberts Jr comes next. Sadly, I went through an unfortunate feminist phase in the late 80s and thought I should name a kid after myself. Sickening, I’m a woman, not a man!. Then come Betsy, Makilia, Rory and Horbert.
You might remember one of my children (Horbert) from my hard-hitting article ‘My Right to text is being taken away by the government’ written many moons ago, but NOTHING has changed in that regard! See: https://judyrobertsspeaksout.wordpress.com/2014/06/26/my-right-to-text-is-being-taken-away-by-the-government/
All of my amazing, beautiful children are Trump lovin’ kids. My son, Rannie Jr, claims he is not a Trump supporter, but I know he’s just in his rebellious ‘mid life crisis’ phase! I blame that monster OBAMA HUSSEIN O’BUMMER and his Obamacare for extending childhood to age 26! Imagine, a 26 year old on their parent’s health insurance? A real man pays for his own high deductible health care plan if you ask me!
Rannie Jr. also believes Covid-19 is a real thing. I mean, really?! I was so saddened when I looked at Rannie Jr’s Facebook and saw that he LIKED one of FAUXCI (Dr Fauci) Facebook posts. Immediately, I pulled over my car to type out a Facebook retort to my Silly Son. (Sickening that my state banned texting while driving, have they heard of a little thing called the FIRST AMENDMENT?)
My fingers furiously typed out a very astute message to my son:
Son, Dr. Fauxci is not to be trusted. Open Your Eyes. The pandemic was created, CREATED, and PLANNED. Tonight, I will tell you the truth, please be home by 6 PM. I have a roast in the crock pot. I hate when you get home at 7 PM and the roast gets dry. Sincerely, mom.
I pressed send, and instantly I felt much better.
Reader, I know you are a busy person, so I will give you a very abridged version of the TRUTH behind Covid-19. Please, sit. If you are driving while reading this, please, pull over.If you are reading this while watching your children, please, read this aloud. THEY MUST KNOW THE TRUTH.
Liberal Plandemic HOAX: The truth behind Covid-19
By Judy Roberts, true American.
The arts and crafts community is a well-known for being full of poor liberals trying to convince people to buy their weird paintings and oddly shaped hand-knit socks at farmer’s Markets. GROSS. Now, as a hardened Republican, I think farmer’s markets are simply breeding grounds for liberal thought (all those carrots in one location, piles and piles of phallic-shaped vegetables? Someone call up Freud!) However, I found myself at the local farmer’s market in late December 2019. My friend Shally Harmer sells homemade door knobs, and I really needed about 5 door knobs. I love to support American made products, so I felt conflicted going to the Liberal-Fest AKA Farmer’s Market. I put on my finest fake liberal outfit (a pair Birkenstocks and a John Kerry for president 2004 t-shirt I keep for such outings)
As I entered the market, I noticed a table full of oddly shaped face masks.
“Um, hello fellow farmer’s market patron, er, vendor!” I said, in my best impression of a liberal.
The vendor smiled and help up one of the face masks.
“Hi there, would you like to try on a face mask?”
Now, keep in mind, this event occured in late 2019, before Covid-19 was invented by the Illuminati and CNN.
“Ma’am, why are you selling face masks? As a fellow liberal, your secret is safe with me.” I pointed to my faded T-shirt of John Kerry’s face, then pointed to my birkenstocks, and pulled out a fake business card I made up. It said: Judy Roberts, CEO of Social Justice Warriorland, Inc.
The vendor nodded, and leaned in to whisper to me.
“You see, there will be a massive global pandemic very soon. The arts and crafts community is not as un-scientific as people think. Oh, they think, those silly arts people! They can’t do aaaanything except draw silly things! They don’t know MATH or SCIENCE! HA!”
“Hey, uh, I really just came here for some new door knobs, so can you hurry this wacky story up? Uh, fellow liberal!” I said, as I eyed the table of freshly made door knobs close by.
She grabbed all of the face masks and laughed maniacally.
“The arts and crafts community spent years creating a virus in a lab, a virus so disgustingly viral it will require ALL of the WORLD to walk around wearing hand-made face masks. Finally, the Etsy creators and farmers market vendors of the WORLD will become millionaires. The world will NEED us for survival. WE WILL RULE THE WORLD!” She laughed so loud that a bunch of hand-knit masks flew away in a gust of wind.
I was so scared that I literally ran away to my car, sans door knobs, and drove right into the safe arms of Wal-mart.
“Good old Wal-mart door knobs. Who needs wacky hand-made crap? Eesh… What a wacky day!”
I didn’t give that wacky day another thought until March 2020, when the world was shut down due to Covid…
…And I KNEW the real reason, but when I googled “Weird Farmer’ Market Mask Lady” nothing came up. Fine, Google, CENSOR THE TRUTH! Go right ahead!
Friends, this whole pandemic is FAKE. It was CREATED by those zany artsy people just so they can sell handmade masks. They’re all sitting at home, watchin’ their checking accounts fill to the brim with upwards of $20-$30 per day from their masks sales, while you walk around in a silly mask.
BELIEVE. NOTHING. THEY. TELL. YOU. (By they, I mean everyone except me and the fine folks who comment on conspiracy theory videos on youtube.)
Bye for now, friends.
